Overcoming Insecurity: Finding the Courage to lean into your dreams

I’ve wanted to write for a long while and I know I’ve had a book in me for a number of years, but many things have conspired to stop me following these dreams. I could point to any one of those things that have side swiped me over the years, but to be honest, it hasn’t been any external things that have been the primary reason I haven’t stepped into my passion.

Confronting fear—Embracing the calling in you

It’s been something much deeper inside of me. I’m going to name it ‘fear’ even though I really wanted to call it something nicer, like a lack of confidence. You see, I know a part of my DNA includes at times being preoccupied by what other people think of me. The thought of putting myself out there in public and knowing this would open me up to criticism has been debilitating at times. When you’re wired this way, you want to be liked and appreciated. Perhaps everyone feels this way, but in my mind, it was different, and I was almost paralysed by how my offerings would be received. Have you ever felt that way? Something deep within you wants to come out and go on an adventure, but something equally deep, and at times even more powerful, stops you realising a dream or even entertaining it.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." E.E. Cummings

Overcoming Self-Doubt: Finding Courage to Share

In recent years, I’ve had a real desire to blog—to share some of the things I’ve learnt along the way. But then another little voice chimes in, asking, “What makes you think you’re special or have anything of worth to share with others?” I’m not sure where that comes from, but it’s been there often when I dream of what I’d like to do in life.

I know I have a burning desire to write. For a while, I even thought about doing it using a pseudonym. My first reason was because I didn’t want to be accused of trying to build my personal brand, but I suspect the main reason was I could hide away behind this fictional character when anyone gave any form of feedback other than how helpful my writing was.

  "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." Eleanor Roosevelt

Embracing Vulnerability: The Power of Triumphing over comparison

Is this pride? Or is it simply the normal response of a creative whose work is out in the public sector and open to feedback, criticism and rejection? I think my fear came from not valuing myself and what I’d been through or a feeling that I really didn’t have anything to offer anyone. I felt my life had not risen to the heights of some other people I knew who spoke or wrote or blogged. I’d been an average mid-level leader, a dad who could have done better, a speaker who was never quite as inspiring as he wanted to be etc.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." Nelson Mandela

It was a narrative that threatened to keep me from doing what my heart was bursting to do—write, speak and try to help people. While one voice accused me of wanting to be a modern-day Pied Piper who played a pretty tune with words but led people nowhere in particular, there was another much more authentic and caring voice. This voice was gently but relentlessly calling me to open up and share with others who may have found themselves hurting or in loss or confused about how to get through the valley they were in. I knew I didn’t have all the answers but that wasn’t the point. People don’t need answers because there very often aren’t any and everyone is different anyway, so it’s foolish to think there is a cookie cutter way of helping people. What was probably going to be a lot more helpful was me just being open and honest and letting people see that it’s ok to struggle and to hurt and to wrestle with doubt and confusion. It’s ok not to be perfect and to make mistakes and to just be yourself. I wanted people to know they weren’t alone in their struggles and that it’s normal not to feel ok sometimes.

From Doubt to Determination: Sharing Stories of Resilience

So, after years of allowing circumstances to determine what I did and did not do, and an inner voice that kept rocking my confidence, I decided to respond to that deeper inner voice calling me to step into my hopes and dreams and start to respond to that burning passion within.

I’ve finished my book and called it, Learning to Dance in the Darkness. My genuine hope is that my own experiences have not been wasted, the lessons I’ve learnt will be of use to others, the wrestle with God I still go through at times will encourage others in their wrestle and that I might be part of a community that doesn’t just find a way through the tough times but also finds a way to dance even when it’s dark.

Let the dance begin!

From Reflection to Action: (These are just suggestions – maybe choose 1 or 2 to try)

Memorise Joshua 1:9: Be reminded that God encourages us to have courage but he also makes sure we don't think we have to do this on our own. "This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Set some goals: What do you need courage for, and what steps could you take to start to realise your God given dreams? Break them into achievable steps—praying over them as in Proverbs 16:3 'Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.'
Look to share your passions and desires with someone: This might be an accountability partner or a wise mentor. Find someone to a) share your dreams with and b) work through them with. It might be helpful to look for a mentor who has overcome fears in their life and have stepped into their God given dreams/calling.
Tune into Encouraging Podcasts: Boost your resilience with these stories from the Resilient Souls podcast and especially Stewart's own story of how he has overcome adversity to step into his dreams. (Stewart's story)

Bible verses about finding courage and following your dreams:

Joshua 1:9 (NLT): "This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Philippians 4:13 (NLT) "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
Psalm 139:14 (CEV): "I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well."
Ephesians 2:10 (NLT): "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
Psalm 139:14 (NIV): "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV): "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
Isaiah 41:10 (The Message): "Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."

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